The Facebook “Guru”

by jnegrne

Usually at work I just go about on the edge of things, editing newsletters and mailings, helping choose colors, and doing whatever else no one else really wants to do.  Which is perfectly fine; I’ve accepted my role as the intern.  I really don’t mind.

I always get excited whenever the one owner, Stuart, comes around.  He seems to really like me and he always wants my input on projects and new marketing ploys.  Last Monday, Stuart and John (the marketing director) asked me to sit in on a meeting with a woman who calls herself the “Facebook Guru.”

Now, I am typically skeptical of all things, especially any self-titled person.  I’ve found that these self-declared savants don’t typically know as much as they think they do; however, I decided to go in with an open mind.

Stuart came and got me from my cubicle and told me to head over to the AHI office and they would all be over shortly.  I entered the room to find a woman in her mid-to-late forties trying to log into Facebook.

“Susan?” I asked.

“Yes?” she replied as she gave me a once-over as she viewed me over her reading glasses.

“Hello, I’m Janae,” I said with a smile.

“Oh good, someone young.  I trust you use Facebook,” she remarked with a condescending tone.  “Maybe you’ll actually know what I’m talking about.”

Haha, it’s possible.” I tried not to let her phase me.  “I’ve been using Facebook for a few years now, I guess.”

“Oh, don’t worry sweetie,” she remarked with that same sickeningly sweet tone, “it’s really not that hard.  You’ll get the hang of it quickly.  I’m an expert and I’ve only been doing this for four months.”

At this point, I was pretty fed up with her unnecessary attitude.  “Actually, I’ve been an active Facebook member for six years, and have taken several classes relating to new and social media.  I’ve even chosen it as my grad school program.”  I was relieved to hear Stuart enter the room behind me as Susan rolled her eyes and turned back to the computer screen.

That encounter all the way, the whole meeting went on in a similar fashion.  Susan looked at my coworkers as minor peons in her sea of authority, all the while asking for my approval in her obscure and condescending tone.  The main points I learned from her were as follows:

  1. The best way to increase likes for your Place page is to ask your friends and family by word of mouth to like your page.
  2. The best way to keep your stories at the top of your friends’ newsfeed is to ‘Like,’ ‘Unlike,’ and ‘Re-like,’ your Places’ post.
  3. We need to create a contest among our employees, and whoever gets the most people with their own last name to like our page gets a gift card to somewhere!

That dispelled the myth for me.  This lady was not a guru.  I listened to her spiel for 45 minutes before I finally started to speak up and explain how you can recommend pages to personal accounts, generate Facebook recommendations to your friends by liking other different Places pages, how we can create different pages for each of our nine clinics and we can generate extra buzz by having clinics share each others postings.  I exploded with all of my marketing ideas for contests and my ideas for the structure of our social media campaign.  After I finished, John and Stuart exchanged some glances and excused me back to finish my work for the day.  I was pretty nervous that I had overstepped my authority as the intern, but they’ve also offered me a full time position once my internship is over, so I calmed myself down by assuring myself that my ideas would be heard eventually.

On Friday, I was reassured when Stuart put his arm around my shoulders and told me that he was extremely impressed with my knowledge of social media and the functions of Facebook and that he wanted to schedule a meeting with me here shortly to discuss my ideas further.